Big Brother, help me sell books.... and think

The Internet is an interesting place. It has certainly been an asset to many important areas, conversations, topics, and businesses - and to me. Just this week, I bought my daughter the exact present she wanted for her birthday when I couldn't find it on store shelves. Nice. On the other hand, it's power and control can be concerning at times. 15 years ago, it never really existed, and in that short time span it has gained control over many aspects of human life: commerce and knowledge. And my life.

I live near Amish folk, people who get along quite well without a technological dependence. For most of human history, all people did this. Imagine telling a teenager today that we're going back to agrarian ways and substance farming. Or craftsmanship as a trade. With no XBox 360 or LCD TV or air conditioning. We can't fathom it. We've changed quite a bit in a very short time - and we're happily dependent.

Recently this control hit the bookshelves when Amazon.com chose to play hardball with Macmillan publishing and "edit" Mac's books off their website. I have loved Amazon.com for many years and they've made a lot of money off of me. But, I get concerned when I see them take some actions that seem to bypass straight commerce and move toward censorship and totalitarian tactics. Rather than playing fair with the publishing industry, the underlying goal seems to be controlling the publishing industry. That's concerning. And the Internet fuels that way of thinking, whether conscious or subconscious.

It's also where the Internet combats that (as long as we all have free access and voice - see China and Google). So, in the case of book sales, some folks are fighting back and taking their business to online private bookstores. Some are even going the "old-fashioned" way and leaving their homes to drive a car (archaic, I know!) to a local private bookstore. Even ordering books there that aren't in stock. I like this. If you're looking for an online option, check out Powell's. The problem is that not all books show up on searches (Powell's isn't carrying my most recent). So, you may have to try other options.

The more frightening thing about the Internet is that children are growing up in a world where, if you don't know something, you just Google for answers. I'm not sure what the result may be, but I would think that if the brain is like a muscle and we aren't teaching it to think deeply and store information, we will find ourselves thinking at the whim of the Internet versus on the whim for ourselves.

I saw this in action the other day when one of my kids asked me a question about a word. Most people have quit "expanding my vocabulary" long ago via Reader's Digest. We just sidled up (without Tic Tac's) to the computer and Googled it. It's easier that way. Plus, I learned more about the controversies surrounding the Chelsea soccer team while we did that. Important to know here in South Bend, IN.

We've already seen the move from the oral society that could memorize long stories and sections of literature upon hearing it to the printed society where knowledge comes through books. Are we now seeing a new change in how we learn and think toward the instant digital age? Is the fear of Ebooks more than about who makes what dollar? It's easy to control commerce digitally and remove links to certain publishers. It's also easy to filter out free speech. We just don't do it outside of certain countries ... yet.

I advocate a life connected to nature, that reads books and reflects on sunrises and sunsets, that reconsiders God in the world and life and how He has revealed himself to men and women, that travels cross-culturally to see life from the peripherals, that savors (and not fights) the seasons of life, and I advocate freedom in so many ways.

As you read the headlines about what government has done over the last nine years (both administrations) and how banks and companies like Amazon do business, we're running from lives of freedom. I'm concerned that it doesn't bother us more. But, hey, we're "connected" and able to watch the shows we want, write the blogs for others to see, and live comfortably.

Speaking / Teaching Schedule 2010

A few posts ago, I mentioned that Kel and I have a rule of thumb to not live more than 30 minutes from an airport, if possible. We are 24 minutes' drive from SBN, so that's great. I can hop up out of bed just about 90 minutes before take-off and make it.

You can imagine my dismay that I turned the calendar and looked across 2010 and saw only one flight on the schedule. For the entire year! Everything I was scheduled to do was within driving distance. But, as the month has progressed, the calendar is starting to fill up and more is around the corner. The schedule so far:

February 26-28 - Simply Youth Ministry Conference - Chicago O'Hare area
March 26 - Chapel at Bethel College, Mishawaka, IN
April 6-10 - IASYM conference - Mesnali Center, Lillehammer, Norway
April 20 - Central District youth pastors, Missionary Church, Ft. Wayne, IN
April 25-29 - Youth worker conference, Daytona Beach, Florida
June 3-6 - Northwest district, Missionary Church, Yakima, WA
June 7-10 - Christian Librarian's Conference, St. Paul, MN
July - fully booked - various speaking at summer events in Northern Indiana & 2 vacation weeks.
July 31 - August 7 - Prairie Family Camp, Goshen IN
Sept. 30-Oct. 4 - National Youth Worker's Convention, San Diego, CA (tentative)
Oct. 23-25 - Association of Youth Ministry Educators, Louisville, KY
November 17-21 - National Youth Workers' Convention, Nashville, TN (confirmed)

In the fall, I limit my weekends away from home to one per month. I think Kel and I are attending a Fall writers' conference too, but that will be just "for us." I do have a few other openings in the fall. Spring 2011 (though May and June 2011 are fully booked) is pretty clean at this point for various speaking/teaching opportunities.

Rules of Thumb

I am not sure where the phrase comes from (interesting read here), but I do have some "rules of thumb" that I live by, and I'm curious to hear yours. I thought I'd share a few here to start the new week.

1. Keep your hands in the dirt. It's important to grow something in soil, to stay connected to the Earth remember how life works. Don't let technology and connectedness rob you of your ability to know what is good and green. It is what Tolkien feared when he wrote Lord of the Rings; technology would be the evil darkness that overtook the land. Grow a flower on the window sill, herbs along your counter, or a small shrub in the backyard. Enjoy!
2. Sleep on it a night before reacting in anger. Avoid the nasty note, the enflamed Email... get some distance before you react. This has saved me MANY times. The problem is that I wished I would have learned this ten years earlier!
   
3. Don't gush. Relax. Don't run forward too fast. I get pretty excited about stuff, so I have to make sure I'm patient and then patient some more.
   
4. Play big or stay home. For those who play cards. Don't be hesitant.
   
5. Pay attention to your good-bye's and hello's - finish well with others. From Bill Hybels' book, a*x*i*o*m, I have had to learn how significant it is to greet people well, say "congratulations" when appropriate, and finish well with a proper "good-bye" or "thank you" when necessary.
   

We're really excited about the Colts here at the Linhart house. And the Saints. Drew and Peyton are both the REAL DEAL and we in Indiana know that very well.

BTW, if you're looking for a very good, but not expensive LCD TV, we picked up a 37" Panasonic VIERA at Best Buy and LOVE IT. For under $500. It isn't 1080p, nor 120 hz, but your eyes can't tell the difference anyway. Fight consumerism and still treat yoursef! It has a ton of inputs and it has an iPOD docking station so you can watch iPOD movies on it easily.

Dynamic people are dynamic listeners

Think of someone you have enjoyed following or being around. We don't often think this way, but it's a helpful exercise to do. What made following or being around them enjoyable? Why did you have such great trust in them? My hunch is that it wasn't just their sense of humor, though I would argue this is essential. It wasn't just a force of will like a bully, something our political party leaders could learn. My guess it that you felt valued, that the person you led knew you and understood. And when you had something to say, they listened. Then acted. They may not have always done what you wanted, but you could tell that your input mattered and was valued. Your close friends are so because they listen and understand you at a deeper level.

This weekend, the Indianapolis Colts are in the AFC championship game, and coach Jim Caldwell exemplifies a leader who listens. I learned the axiom "Dynamic Leaders are Dynamic Listeners" from Paul Robbins, former President/Publisher of Christianity Today International. He and I served on a consulting grop for two years. It was my grandfather, however, who first demonstrated it to me and truly taught it. As an executive with YMCA, my grandpa had the reputation of an open door and would let anyone interrupt his work to talk about whatever was important to them. Someone once wrote an article about this quality he possessed. I keep the article next to my desk as a consistent reminder of what is most important, no matter our position or level of influence.

I've changed the axiom from "leaders" to "people" to help with its application to all areas of life: parenting, teaching in elementary school, working in the office, church staffs, youth ministry, corporate leadership, sports, coaching, and even online social media. Dynamic people are dynamic listeners. Not static listeners. Not just "I heard you," but "I understand you as I listened to you and you matter."

If you lead anything anywhere, would those who interact or even follow you say that you are a dynamic listener. See? It doesn't matter what you think about your listening. It matters what they think about your listening and understanding. If you want to develop a culture of trust and forward movement, you have to possess this characteristic. Have to. No questions. Otherwise, you're involved in "bully leadership" and we've seen how that comes across more than we want to do ever again.

Dynamic people are dynamic listeners.

Are you listening to me?

What makes you content?

Some say it's the little things in life that bring joy. I'm experiencing one today that is among my annual favorites : Casi Cielo coffee from Starbucks. It is simply the best coffee in the world. When I drink a cup (or pot), I know that the winter days will be just fine and I can make it through. Wait, I feel a song coming on here..... Seriously, there's a reason the phrase "comfort food" exists. Kelly (my amazing spouse) often says that there aren't too many problems in life that chocolate can't solve. Of course she's kidding, but you get the idea.

Kel and I feel like we just finished a "chapter" in our lives and God is leading us into another one. We just had a spring sabbatical in Africa, which was amazing and life-changing. The effect of that trip is just a first ripple and has expanded outward, primarily an internal maturing and refining process. For now. That seemed to close the first chapter with Bethel College and we're now entering another one with the college.

A larger issue for me is that I have now lived and worked in one spot for the longest stretch in my life. For a guy who is often restless and ready for new challenges, this is significant. Kel and I love where we live, but we also have an axiom that we can't live more that 30 minutes from an airport. Uh, we like to travel. We (ok, mostly me) also have an axiom that we have to get outside of the US each year for our own betterment and sanity. Or at least to Tennessee.

Yesterday, I asked what makes you strong. I've had to ask myself what makes me content? For a Type-A, achievement-oriented, and seeking-influence kind of guy, this has been difficult. It's worth careful reflection on contentment and maybe you want to think about this week. I know for us northern hemisphere types, Jan/Feb isn't the best time for life reflection, but give it a go:

1. Think about the potential answers to this dangerous sentence: "If I could/had____, then I'd be happy!" What fills in the blank?
   
2. Could you do what you're doing for the rest of your life?
3. Could you live where you live for the rest of your life?
4. When have you felt most content?
5. When have you felt most restless?
   
6. Finish this sentence: "When I am ______ I feel most satisfied."

Pay attention to the next time you feel a restlessness, that you want to be somewhere else. If you can grab a pen, jot your thoughts down and then look for the underlying issues that prompt that discontent.

What makes you strong?

I had one of those moments this week where you read a word and see it in a different light, the light drawing out new hues and creating new shadows. I encountered the word "strength" and thought of how frail humanity often feels in moments of tragedy. We can do little to thwart earthquakes and their devastation and we can feel slighted at the smallest of comments from others. And yet at times we can feel invincible, clearly a season of deception until we encounter the next incident (e.g. loss of job, loss of loved one, conflict with spouse) that shows we're not as strong as we think.

So, this propelled me to think of what it is that makes us feel strong? I came up with a few. Perhaps you want to add more? I'd love to see what you're thinking.

1. We feel strong due to physical strength. As a former (my current basketball play reinforces the past tense) athlete, I drew strength from my ability to run, play, and perform in athletics. Some guys walk into a room and just know they're stronger than everyone else - and that makes them feel strong.
   
2. We feel strong because we're "good." Some of us are rule-followers and we draw strength in the fact that our will is disciplined enough to perform a routine of goodness.
   
3. We feel strong because we get our way with others. This is the one that often affects leaders. The will here isn't focused inward, but rather is on moving others in directions that we want them to go. Even Gandhi admitted, "“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
   
4. We feel strong because we're wise or intuitive. Over time, we can develop a trust in our instincts. The hope is that we've let the wisdom develop through good channels and not self interest. Like #2, we can feel a sense of superiority and the "pat on the back" that we're doing good gives us strength.
   
5. We feel strong because we're more significant than others. This is the ol' popularity list from our adolescence, but the comparison trap is alive and well among accomplished adults. As long as we're doing better "than the next person" we feel like we're okay.
   

You can see that not all of these possess an element of truth in them. Yet, they're clearly self-focused and each can be easily removed. Then what? Do we suddenly feel weak? Do we shake our fist at God when things don't go our way? It would seem to be the obvious response.

I think that's what the Pslamist is saying in Psalm 62 - that it's worthless to find strength in our status and capabilities with others. Rather, our strength is found in our trust of God. For leaders, this is the daily responsibility; to not let our strength move from on the One who has gifted and called us. If we draw strength from the size of our congregation or youth group, our status within a ministry, that hundreds follow us on Twitter, or that we people do what we tell them to do, we're in trouble and we've lost our way.

More tomorrow...

How you drive reveals how you think of others?

I have been rereading "Leadership and Self-Deception" by The Arbinger Institute this week, my third time through it. It's a quick read (I recommend it) that continues to grow on you once you finish it. That's the sign of a good book, a book that teaches and shapes.

In the book, the authors discuss how we don't think others' values, interests, or purposes are as noble as our own. We don't see them as people, but rather as objects. We then treat them in ways that are for our own gain, to get them to like/respect us, or to keep things "efficient" (and a shout out to all of you fellow INTJ's out there).

They go on to say that driving is one of the chief ways you can check yourself. Do we respect other drivers as our equals? Or, do we rather see them as our adversaries and obstacles? How many times do you call the other drivers a name, repeatable or otherwise? There seem to be more turkeys on the road than just at Thanksgiving.

I once heard of a well-respected speaker who often spoke in churches. He purposefully liked to be picked up by the leader or pastor and watch him/her drive. The way they drove and the way they treated other drivers told him a lot about their character. Well, that was his philosophy anyway.

So, my 16 year old is driving now and the roads here are very snowy. Very icy. So, I WANT her to go slow and be careful. Yet, I want to drive swiftly and get frustrated when others are driving slowly. I don't think of the others as people, I don't consider that it may be someone's 16 year old in the car.

Monday, I posted about the temptation for us to be disappointed in others, to wish that they were better. We can find ourselves thinking, "They're not ___ enough" or "If they could ____, then things would be better." Usually we reserve these for our most-loved, our family members.

Pay attention to your driving over the next 48 hours. If a traveling supervisor were to gauge your character off of your driving, what would he/she conclude? What does your driving reveal about how you view other people's journeys? Do we value their experience, their philosophy of driving?

And, hey.... let's be careful out there.

The "blame game" in leadership

I was recently reminded of how often we are tempted to blame others for our own problems. You know what it's like: We're in the middle of a situation and we look around and wish others were more competent, listened to us better, or weren't always resisting everything we tried to do. The blame can even grow to looking at God and shaking our fist because life hadn't gone as we want. Then we look down the street at another place of work, another family, or someone else and wonder why our life can't be like theirs. We wish the people in our life resembled those people.

The issues are often that we aren't seeing our people as "people." We don't truly think that the people in our lives have the same best-of-intentions that we do. Worse, we think our values and ideas are better than others' values and ideas. So, we resist the people in our lives, we withhold our best from our work, and we blame them for not being ______ enough.

Ask yourself these questions and then think about what your answers reveal:

1. Have I become more irritated with the people I work/live with, now that I know them better?
2. Do you spend time thinking life would be easier if you could change (or substitute) others?
   
3. Do I help those people generate more enthusiasm or creativity in their lives?
4. Do people love to work with me and have they said so?

I've had the pleasure of rereading "Leadership and Self-Deception" by The Arbinger Institute. The book is a fictional story that you could read in a day, but profoundly reminds us that "people problems" are often symptoms of deeper issues. I recommend the book to you as we all pay attention to "the blame game."